"there are all different kinds of voices
calling you to all different kinds of work....
the place God calls you to is the place
where your deep gladness
and the world's deep hunger meet."
— frederich buechner, "wishful thinking"
[emphasis mine]
when
i think occasionally about vocation, i think of this
beuchner quote, and maybe for a brief second my mind flashes to vanier
and nouwen ensconced in stained glass, and then maybe i think about my day-job, my hobbies, my down-time, and then how i describe what i do. for
it seems quite a lot of folks tell me i do quite a lot.
this all made me think tonight about my one-line bio on this blog which says that this is what i do:
"paul soupiset is a graphic designer, illustrator, songwriter, liturgical arts director, youth media consultant, journalist, mentor, typophile, husband, father, and self-described armchair theologian who lives in san antonio, texas, usa, with his wife amy and four children."
meh. this rather modern rendering of my vocation/avocation mixology may not be far from truth, but it certainly comes off dry and lifeless as a boxed butterfly held in place with stainless t-pins under glass. i feel more integrated than these classification-words.
four years ago i wrote these other words about the tendency toward the verbal dissection tray:
"modernity classifies, distinguishes, taxonomizes and vivisects in order to understand [and i should now add, to control]. post-modernity understands by context, looking for patterns, unified wholes. just as the former lends itself to fracture, specialization, innovation and discovery, the latter lends itself to healing, community, renovation and recovery. this brings hope to me and many."
i hope i was on to something there. our stories are bigger than the one-line bio. there are stories at play here. lives that touch ours
and vice-versa. idiocy and
brilliance and triumph and shame in every day. jokes and pranks and bad puns and paradoxes. and box lunches and coffee spills. i'd like to start thinking a bit more about the me that's under (and above) the labels. to understand myself and my calling a little better by looking at the patterns to which i return, to dig the contextual, and to paint with a bigger brush and maybe be okay with the results. maybe you can do the same and comment about the jouney.
what would a more integrated un-bio paragraph look like? it would have to change daily, i suppose. ooh. too much work. maybe today it would've read something like this:
"when he gets right down to it, paul believes in this idea of humanity being created in the image of a creator God. and he believes that through the act of creating (scribbling, drawing, singing, cooking, photographing, building community, procreating, and then sharing creations with others) we experience some of what God is. paul gets paid to create and he is really proud of the design staff he's helped to assemble at his studio, and he gets to participate in a lot of creativity there. creative solutions for clients, creative ways to juggle deadlines, budgets and timelines, creative ways to make his co-worker friends laugh during their morning staff huddles… paul can be controlling at times because he can picture the end product in his head and is impatient when others can't see it just yet. he wants you to trust him that the end is going to be really cool. he likes engaging at work and on his weblog but also needs time off to recharge, to be creative just for himself instead of others, and to fulfill his wanderlust for undiscovered places and cool artifacts along the way. his home base is texas. but his family of six likes getting out and going. his kids travel remarkably well having been subjected to a benign givenness about being thrown in a minivan for roadtrips since birth."
maybe tomorrow it would be something else. but vocation is more than my 40-hour job, and avocation is more than what i do outside of work if that makes sense. and heck, adventure and vacation can even be found within the workplace (for me it's occasional symposia, conventions, photo shoots, press-okays; even staff outings and client retreats feel like mini getaways).
it's always something new. or, i tell you, it can be.
this morning i got to offer a full time position to my summer intern. what a great honor to bear the good news. i got an unexpected hug from the husband of that intern at lunchtime. don't know why that memory stuck with me but it did. then this afternoon i received an (unrelated) perk which made me feel great to be a employee at this particular studio. so sometimes work can bring its own refreshment.
these are things which cannot be encapsulated. "there are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work...." [and play and rest]. i am so fortunate to do, as buechner has said, the "kind of work ... that you need most to do" and then, by exercising creativity not just in the workplace but also in family life, in community, and a-vocationally, that I can also be about the kind of work "that the world most needs to have done."
look into that place where your deepest passion meets human need.
food? clothing? shelter? safety? maslow would add things like fostering self-esteem in others, creativity, spontaneity. there's a lot of venn-intersection, i'd wager, between your heart and the world's outstretched hands.
i'll stop rambling and go to bed.
sleep tight.
