this weekend we had the second in our summer Franciscan retreat series. These are more or less identical to the Franciscan retreats we do for our own church family, but we host folks from around the country. And there are no spiritual prerequisites to coming; as one woman said recently, "I'm a tourist in Christianity this weekend." And that's really cool.
Met a lot of great people with great stories, and connected on a deep level with a few. I was able to experience a little rest and relaxation myself and do some thinking about my life. Four, no, five conversations over the last week now have confirmed my desire to find some additional spiritual direction, and the retreat confirmed it in its own way.
Here are photos I took this weekend. Hey: If I met you this weekend, just know that although I'm a little too tired to articulate it well, I really enjoyed the weekend. You all fed my soul. Your very presence, whether you were a curious onlooker wanting depth or a Jesus-follower wanting spiritual nourishment or just someone wanting a free place to be alone and breathe a bit, your very presence was a gift to us at Covenant.
I hope he doesn't mind the direct quote; one of my new friends Mark had this to say (stuff like this makes the preparation details all worth it, no? ... Excerpt from Only Dicta (sorry for the long pull quote):
"…I expected it to be great, and it was. But I wasn't expecting to feel so loved by Jeanene. I wasn't expecting Ben to look at me with compassion and speak a blessing over me - stirring even now some place inside of me I had been doubting even existed. I wasn't expecting Paul, Tim, or Cynthia. Or Lexie's voice. I wasn't expecting beautiful little Anna to cap the experience on such a high. It was almost too much. I'm so thankful that I have had the fortune of crossing paths with these remarkable people. I hope to see each of them again soon.
As I left the retreat, I can't say that all of my doubts had lifted and I found God and Jesus again. To be honest, I dread the days to come. They will be full of difficult questions, many of which tie my stomach in knots just to think of them. But I want to be with these people. I want to be a part of their journey. I want them to join with me in mine, if they will. And if it was okay for us to practice faith together this weekend, even though we didn't all share the same beliefs, then maybe it will be okay today. Maybe it will be okay tomorrow. Even as the light has gone out on my faith, I have kept walking on in the dark, refusing to give up. For a short time, it was nice to have a few fellow pilgrims to stumble with in the dark.
I can't say I will ever believe all of the right things again. It may not be possible for me anymore. But this weekend it didn't matter. This weekend, being a christian didn't turn on doctrinal statements or professions of faith. This weekend, being a christian somehow meant more than that. It meant joining together graciously with others to celebrate all that is good, to embrace love, to recite together the holy poems of the fathers of faith, to pray for one another, and to acknowledge that, although the world can be a tragically lonely place, we are not alone.
We didn't all have faith. But we did faith. And we did it together. And it was good."
amen.
unrelated to the retreat: thanks, chris for the sunday afternoon discussion and for the microphone. thanks, tim and jeff for a wonderful time of conversation on Sunday night. and thanks, bob for a meaningful lunch conversation earlier today. i've got some great friends on this little planet. thanks amy and kids for making it back safe to SA and for a fund evening playing charades in the living room. right now, i feel like the luckiest man.
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